The Book "5150"
One Who Flew Into The Cuckoos Nest
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"5150" is the California code for an involuntary 72-hour psychiatric hold. The book is about my 48-day hospitalization. However, my friends insisted that I write about my life and the kind of individual I was before I was hospitalized so that the reader can get the whole picture.In order to write this book, I had to put myself back into past, right in the middle of the trauma. It was difficult and triggering. However, I believe this book will raise a wide range of emotions within the reader. There is a major element of unpredictably and surprises through out the text.
This book also has many psychiatric notes (156 of them) from the hospitalization. I resonate my story with the psychiatric notes so that the reader can get a wider view of what is actually going on during the hospitalization.In addition to the psychiatric notes, there are also actual court transcripts. For example, the doctor denied me the use of my baby bottle, and the court transcripts depict the argument in court as to whether I was allowed or not to have a baby bottle.
Many of the psychiatric notes state that I had a severe case of "borderline personality disorder." I believe that individuals with BPD that "act in" will specially be able to relate to this story.I also write about my child-alter, 'lil kathi and how dissociative identity disorder has affected our lives.
I have attempted to be objective and transparent as I wrote this book. My mother had said to me at times, "Kathi, you are telling on yourself."
I hope this book will give new insight into the mind of some traumatized individuals during their developmental years. Also, this book targets insights for treaters and inpatient staff to develop a therapeutic alliance for treatment compliance.
Included are pictures during my life. Before and after transition form male to female.
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A true story about personal journey in the following domains:
- Psychiatric Hospital (s),
- Dissociative Identity Disorder,
- Borderline Personality Disorder,
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,
- Schizoaffective Disorder,
- Bipolar Disorder,
- True Infantilism.
First time a book is published that resonates with the psychiatric hospital progress notes.
I finished reading the book last night at 03:12 AM. I could not let go of it. I could not close my laptop. I went out to meet some friends but hurried back. This time it's a winner: taut, tense prose; a plot as captivating as any thriller's; a real-life story that reads like a nightmare and that ends in personal redemption. Couched in a lean and muscular text, all the important themes are here: self-discovery, one against the many, iconoclastic rebel faces down the system, justice for all, mental illness as a mechanism for social coercion.
What a ride! What a treat! Brilliant.
This one will end up on Oprah.
Sam Vaknin Ph.D.
Excerpts From The Book "5150"
- The Beginning...
- The Need To See Blood
- Escape From Bedlam
- The Bitch From Hell
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
Front & Back of Book. Click on book to expand