Letters of Appreciation
Letters from helping professionals

Jan 2004

Dear Kathi,

I am very much enjoying your paper though I have not finished reading it yet. I have been doing clinical work from an object relations approach with severely emotionally disturbed children in Santa Barbara Ca. since completing my master's thesis in 1987 on transference and countertransference with Borderline Personality Disorder. However, I have not done much research or writing for a while. Recently, I left my full time clinical position and I now coordinate a clinic here in town, part-time. It has given me more time to do more reading and research. The Internet sure is a great way to connect with very knowledgeable people such as yourself on topics we are interested in.

I am particularly impressed with your coverage of Margaret Mahler as I believe her early work has stood the test of time on the important part healthy separation-individuation from the mother plays in healthy/normal personality development.


Jim H.

Jan 5, 2003

Thanks for all your hard work you have put into your website


I love the articles relating to transference/countertransference and ways to effectively deal with this empathetically and theraputically. I love that many of the articles provide examples of interactions. It is rare to find information that combines both examples and then the theory to back those examples up. I am a social work student interning on an inpatient psychiatric unit, and have seen many instances of transference (reactions to) and felt it myself. I have luckily had much coursework dealing with transference especially related to trauma, but your site has really helped me understand it further. The articles are written on a level that is complex, but also very very understandable. I have read texts and articles dealing with transference where many terms are used but not defined well (or abstractly), and you define the terms wonderfully. I think many people will find this site helpful, I know I have printed out quite a few articles to read and keep handy. Thank you sooooo much!


Jan 2, 2003

Dear Ms Stringer,

I am putting together a course on self-care for caregivers (Community Support Workers) and I have been searching for material on transference-countertransference. The material on your website is excellent and I would love to incorporate it into our lesson plans. Please advise me as to your permission/copyright policies.

Thank you.

Bart Begalka
Sprott-Shaw Community College
Coquitlam, B.C.

Sat Nov 16, 2002

Dear Kathi:

I have a bachelor's in Psychology with a Mental Health Concentration and have attended a doctoral program in clinical psychology. I am in the process of transferring my credits to a university closer to my home. I have read Otto Kernberg on Borderline and Narcissistic conditions and a few other works on the subject. However, I have found your webpage on Borderline Personality Disorder to be most helpful and a very clear and concise presentation of the problem. I am a women's group facilitator at the local Family Crisis Center for victims of domestic abuse and I have used the information on your website as a much needed refresher course on behaviors usually adopted by individuals who have been traumatized in childhood. Congratulations on this outstanding work.

Best regards,

Leticia Crawford

 Fri Oct 18 2002

Kathi Stringer,

Hi! I'm a post-doctorate fellow working with Otto Kernberg and others over at the personality disorder institute associated with Cornell medical college in NY. I'm thinking about updating our website here and making things more useful as we get a lot of questions and requests for basic info that we haven't directly linked through our website before. As I was looking around the web to see what resources are already out there I was impressed by the clear, unbiased, and informative attitude of your site. I was wondering how you would feel about me adding links to your site, resources, and articles (in no way implying that they are our work, of course, and being clear that they will link to another site) when we update our site with more info. What do you think? Meanwhile, I would like to refer people to your site as one possible resource when they have basic questions about Borderline Personality Disorder that they ask by direct email. Before doing this, I wanted to consult with you about it and see if that would in any way make you uncomfortable.

In any case, I also want to just personally let you know that I am impressed by the quality and nature of the info you have on your site. Thanks for being out there!

Ken C.

Hello Kathi,

I've found your site enormously helpful. I work in a one to one situation with a 14 year old who has been diagnosed BPD. I am this girls' team leader and so I'm searching the net for some info about BPD so that I may best help my client.

I appreciate that you must be snowed under with responses to your site and so I'll understand if you can't respond, however, if you have time I wonder if you could help me.

I'm looking specifically for information about a therapeutic approach to working with adolescents with BPD. I've found all the info about diagnosis and characteristics extremely interesting, now I'd like some more information about treatment. Thank you.

Jen Slade

My Response

Follow up letter from a helping professional

January 12, 2002

Hello Kathi,

I found your response extremely useful. As I said in my original letter, I'd found a great deal of information regarding diagnosis and the characteristics of BPD but very little regarding treatment. Following your response, I was able to put a pack together to distribute to my team and then use this as a base line when we came to care-planning our client. This helped in a number of ways.

Possibly the most significant impact or your work was that it helped my team to understand that it was our client's condition that was making her so difficult to be with at times - and not her.

As professional as my team are, they were finding themselves drawn into petty and destructive arguments, responding negatively to personal insults and generally finding our client difficult to like. This was despite the fact that she was clearly reaching out to them for help and desperately confused by her mixed emotions.

After I introduced your work to them and the BPD pack that I'd put together, the heavy atmosphere in the unit just seemed to lift. The team were able to objectify the condition and this stopped them taking my client's behavior and attitude towards them personally.

The work that had been exhausting and mentally draining before became understandable and stimulating now because we had something with a name, recognizable criteria and also strategies for dealing with it.

The impact for our client was immediate. Because the team felt more confident they responded more positively towards her. Because my client felt less rejected and more accepted, her confidence grew and she was able to develop more positive relationships with each of her team.

This young woman is sixteen next week and we're throwing a surprise party for her. Many of the staff that have worked with her across the years will be there and this is because they have a genuine affection for her.

Prior to her diagnosis we were looking at long term care in a therapeutic setting for this client. Now, because of the work we've been able to do with her, we're moving her towards independence.

Finally, I have been able to pass on the pack I put together, including your response, to other team leaders who have begun working with BPD young people. So, your work has impacted across our organization and on the lives of a number of young people.

Thanks once again for all that you do.

Jen Slade

This, as you can discern from posted responses, is a pivotal insight. Are you able to populate this analysis more broadly in professional circles? Its so clinically nonjudgmental and honest and true. Its a great tragedy that people cannot view the world in such terms! I only wish you could dedicated more of your professional energies in this direction. The need is so great and so neglected.

A Most Grateful Admirer