Borderline Personality Disorder
Friends and Family Support

Welcome to Section 1 on BPD - Families

The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger 

Reader comment:  "After a therapist diagnosed my wife with BPD I wanted to know more about it. I couldn't believe how accurately the book depicted my own experiences with my wife. I felt the book was written in understandable fashion. I found it very helpful in that it showed me how to deal with her irrational behavior. I do think more information is needed about how to deal with the effects of BPD on the children of people with BPD."

The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Randi Kreger, James Paul Shirley

Reader comment: A tremendous resource for anyone involved with borderline or other disorders. I can't say enough about this book. It will change your life in ways you never thought possible. I was able to regain my dignity, self esteem and take steps to put me in control of a situation I thought hopeless.

Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson

Reader comment:  This book is a lifeline to sanity for any child of a mother who suffers from borderline personality disorder. The first chapters dissect this complex disease more thoroughly than I've read in any other book, and the final section explains how to cope with the volatile relationships that form between mother and child. Every page contains a wealth of information that is simultaneously therapeutic and proactive. The validation that came with being able to relate to the experiences of other children living with this was priceless (as well as being long overdue). I have read dozens of books about borderline personality disorder, but none (until now) addressed the consequences the disease has on children of mothers suffering from the disorder. The book seems to focus on the relationships daughters have with their borderline mothers, but does deal with the impact it has on sons, as well.

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward

Reader comment:  This is not an easy book. It is not a book that will make you feel good. It certainly is not a book to replace therapy. What it is is a great start on a long difficult journey. Using examples from her practice, Forward explains what toxic parents are and how they can happen to families. She explains the dynamics of dysfunctional families and how they will play roles that are assigned to the various members of a family. What surprised me the most was how she explained how a family can turn its back on the injured party to protect the toxic parent. It is one way a family copes. Not everybody is happy when the problem is challenged. If you are buying this book for yourself to help with a past, this book will give insights to what you can expect from others in the family. If your are buying this book for general knowledge, you will be surprised how much of your own family can show up in these pages. Forward talks about archetypes and these are present in all families in some degree. She also spends time explaining about enablers and how they also are part of the problem in a dysfunctional family. Forward does write about successes and about failures. This is very important work she has done. This is not a book for enjoyment, but it can be appreciated later on especially if you are working through problems.

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

Reader comment:  "CODEPENDENT NO MORE is the book that introduced the word "codependent" to the world, and it is the book that set me on my road to recovery (when I was only 17). I don't know where I would be without this book. Indeed, the insights this book offered me and the hope it gave me was revolutionary for that time in my life.

So, what exactly *is* a codependent, you ask? Well, Melody defines a codependent as someone who believes that their happiness comes from one specific person, and then they become obsessed with controlling that person. Melody also describes that many codependents get jolts of self-esteem by "rescuing" people, but that the self-esteem can often turn to resentment and blame due to the stress of being burdened by others' problems. Sometimes alcohol and other addictions are involved in these situations and relationships, sometimes they aren't. 

Looking back, I see that CODEPENDENT NO MORE set me on the road to my current spiritual path, the self-study book about spiritual psychotherapy called A COURSE IN MIRACLES. The Course says that our only real problem is the belief in the "separation from God." The Course says that we make many "special relationships" as substitutes for God. In many ways, the two concepts - "codependent" and "special relationship" - are very similar, and they both have a similar cure: the acceptance of God as our only security.

Soon after finding CODEPENDENT NO MORE, I wrote Melody Beattie a letter of thanks for the inspiration. She kindly replied, and gave me information I had requested. So, this book is a landmark in my life."