Dear Kathi,

I feel that your site is the most important, descriptive, loving, education and properly formatted site I have seen since I have been researching BPD, Bi-Polar, PTSD, I had been very close to a Beautiful Woman for approx. four years. Honestly, IT WAS HELL, PURE HELL, but I love and I suck by her side and finally got her into therapy. I will simply say that she is a gift, a flower which sways in the wind. I just sent her your prose on "True Identity" and I am hoping that she will not reject it. I finally had to leave the relationship because I had finally abandoned myself. I am in Florida and she in New Jersey. Your site has helped me even more to understand this devastating illness. My exposure to mental illness, especially Borderline and Bi-Polar has helped this recovering alcoholic come to grips with broken attachments which I encountered an my childhood. I could write a book on this subject, but I will stop and ...Thank You..

Paul's Letter

Kathi, I have to say this. I have seen more emotional safety, and more healing, take place on your web site than in most, perhaps all, of the self-help groups, therapy groups that I have ever been associated with in my years in social work. It is rare that even successful therapy is not traumatic to some degree, perhaps like surgery.

But you have provided and maintained a safe place for people to be whoever they are, in whatever stage of survival they happen to be in at the moment. Never once have I felt as though I was watching someone being subjected to harm here, or being wrongly challenged, or being shamed.

The whole mental health community ought to be taking a lesson from you, Kathi, not defending themselves against the things you are saying. I have been on the inside of the mental health community, and I know what I am talking about. Challenging you with tests and depositions, as they obviously have done, is a travesty. If the mental health community offered one tenth of what you offer here, there would BE no problems such as the ones which you encountered. There would BE no need to defend themselves against charges that they have done harm, because if they offered one tenth of what you do here, there would BE no such harm done.

If you want me to write something to take with you to court, I will be glad to do it. I will e-mail it or I will snail mail it. The one thing I will not do is sit here and keep my mouth shut about the fact that Kathi's place is the safest place I have ever been in, and the supposed authorities on healing - who cannot even touch you as a healer - are disparaging you. We are on the verge of creating a new era, one safe for children, and I will not sit silent when one of the most gentle and gifted people I have ever known suffers for being who she is.

I feel the Warrior in me awakening.


Thank you Paul. That was the sweetest letter I have ever received. It helps make all mountains that I must climb a little easier....Kathi